


abject apathy

by rookerrogue



Series: Lesbian AU [1]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, F!Soundwave - Freeform, F/F, HAROLD THEY'RE LESBIANS, Human, Human Names, Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, Pregnancy, Trauma, f!Optimus, i know this is a lot to process
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-24 23:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22285897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rookerrogue/pseuds/rookerrogue
Summary: how do i even summarize this uhhhhthis is a lesbian au where optimus is an ex-cop who took soundwave in after putting megatron in prison and soundwave hates her about it sooo much but WHAT IF THEY FELL IN LOVE !!!!Part of an AU.
Relationships: Optimus Prime/Soundwave
Series: Lesbian AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604170
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	abject apathy

**Author's Note:**

> Some important information:  
> Soundwave is a lesbian but she doesnt know this yet and so she's going out and making herself have sex with guys because she's confused and angry after everything that happened :(  
> Optimus put Megatron in prison and Soundwave is royally pissed about it  
> They have human names and I didnt' feel like changing them back for publication!  
> Optimus: Orion  
> Soundwave: Sonia  
> Megatron: Meg  
> The AU was created by mrdraws on tumblr!  
> for a look at what Soundwave and Optimus look like:  
> https://mrdraws.tumblr.com/post/187521870942/humanverse-soundop-but-lesbians
> 
> ENJOY THE GAY

“Where were you?” Orion asked, attempting to fold her arms before reconsidering the move and dropping them to her sides.

“I was out,” Sonia muttered, pushing past her to get in the apartment. Orion stepped to the side and let her, taking in the sheen of sweat on her upper arms, the haphazard rumple of her shirt and the way that her eyes lidded with exhaustion. 

Sonia kicked the garbage can as she passed through the kitchen. 

“Sonia,” Orion said.

“Shut  _ up,”  _ Sonia replied, throwing her jacket on the counter and heading to the bathroom. The door slammed with a hollow sound, and Orion winced as the cost of repairing the doorframe with her meager post-officer budget flashed before her eyes.

“They were gonna give me a medal,” she muttered, sitting down heavily on her couch. “A promotion. I could’ve had a new car.”

But she knew that was horseshit. There hadn’t been any other option but leaving the force, not for her. Not when she’d had her eyes opened to the filth within.

A loud  _ crack  _ came from the bathroom, followed by faint sounds of tinkling, as if a windchime had been dropped. Orion bolted to her feet. 

“Sonia?” she called, traveling to the bathroom door in three quick strides.  _ God,  _ the new apartment was small. “Hey, what happened?”

There was only silence from within. Orion groaned and clenched her teeth, rocking back on her heels-- Sonia had definitely broken the mirror, but was it Orion’s business or place to open the door and check? 

Not to mention the fact that Sonia might be hurt.

Well. More hurt than she already was.

The door opened. 

“You need a new mirror,” Sonia said, and shoved past Orion to go to the single bedroom and slam yet another door.

Orion slept on the couch that night, and the next one, and the night after that-- when Sonia had moved into the tiny apartment, they had agreed that the two of them could hardly afford to buy separate beds, and so the couch arrangement had been made. They swapped off sleeping on the couch and sleeping on the bed each night. It was  _ fair. _

But, Orion reminded herself as she prepared to try and fall asleep on the too-small, too-short couch that smelled like cat dander for the fourth night in a row, Sonia had been through a traumatic experience.

Ostensibly. 

Not to mention it was a traumatic experience that she wouldn’t tell Orion anything about. 

But she didn’t seem hurt and she didn’t seem any more reticient than she was normally, so Orion didn’t press. That seemed to be her thing now, didn’t it? Don’t ask questions. Don’t press. Don’t bother.

Maybe it was making up for her time as the hotshot young cop who’d made herself a legend hunting down the crime gang Meg had headed. Orion had asked so many questions, bothered and pressed and relentlessly interrogated-- and where had it all ended?

With a courtroom and a badge on the desk and the fucking  _ impossible  _ creature she was spending her life with now, apparently.

Orion wiggled. She was too tall for the couch. Her feet dangled and it was  _ very  _ uncomfortable.

_ If Sonia was my roommate in college or something, I’d have made her honor the agreement a long time ago,  _ Orion thought, frustration boiling over for the briefest of moments as she nearly fell off the couch again. _ She barely even helps with rent, and I’m treating her like the queen of the castle. _

The apartment creaked and settled, cooling in the night. 

With it, so did Orion’s moment of anger.

She sighed.

It was her fault Sonia was in this situation. It was her fault Sonia was 19 and alone in the world. Orion had taken away the only person in the world Sonia cared for, she knew, and it was her responsibility to make things right.

Or at least give her a place to stay until she could get a steady job somewhere other than the shitty corner drugstore.

_ Not that she’d be able to pass a background check,  _ Orion thought, rolling over on her side.  _ Or file her taxes. Or apply for a loan. Or. . . basically anything. _

God, what had Orion gotten herself into?

Sonia didn’t say a word about the incident for two weeks. She left two crumpled twenties on the kitchen counter, a decent offering for her, and Orion put them toward the replacement mirror. Things weren’t good between them, but they weren’t bad. 

They went back to how they had been, with Sonia hating the fuck out of Orion’s guts for everything she’d done to put Meg in jail and Orion doing her best to keep an uneasy sort of peace.

But then the puking started.

“Sonia, that’s the third time today,” Orion called through the bathroom door, listening to Sonia cough and retch into the toilet. “I. . . should I. . .?”

The door clicked and unlocked. Sonia stood there, looking like absolute shit.

“I don’t know why this is happening,” she said miserably. 

“Hey, it’ll be alright,” Orion said gently. “Rinse your mouth out, brush your teeth, and I’ll go get you a bucket so you don’t have to keep getting up.”

Retrieving a large bowl from the kitchen, Orion thought about her life choices. She came to the conclusion that she only regretted them a little.

“Are you feeling like you can sit down?” she asked, coming back to the bathroom.

“Mnhm,” Sonia said, her mouth full of toothpaste foam.

“Okay, come on, let me set you up on the couch then,” Orion said, laying a hand tentatively on Sonia’s back. 

Sonia smacked her hand away, spat out the toothpaste, and stuck her face underneath the faucet. “M’ _ coming,”  _ she said through the water.

Orion sighed. “Okay.” 

God forbid she forget her place as the cruel (unpaid) jailor Sonia apparently thought she was, she mused, lowering herself down to perch on the edge of the couch.

Sonia appeared at the bathroom door, water dripping down her jaw and her shirt spattered. She looked at the couch and Orion guardedly, her eyes tired and the rose undertones gone from her skin, replaced with a sickly grey.

“Sit down,” Orion said softly, rising from her seat. Sonia definitely didn’t want her there next to her.

Sonia crossed the room, sat down on the couch, and brought her hands up to her face. Her shoulders trembled just the smallest bit. 

“Listen,” Orion said awkwardly, “I know this has to be scary. I hate throwing up too. I mean, I don’t really throw up a lot, not even when I was little, but I hate it when it happens. One time I was sixteen and I had sex under the bleachers and then I was pregnant for like three weeks before my dad made me get an abortion and I had morning sickness--”

“Wait, shut up,” Sonia said. And then she stared at Orion, very hard. “When you’re pregnant, you throw up?”

“. . . Sometimes,” Orion said, very slowly. 

There was a very long pause.

“Are you sure?” Sonia asked suspiciously.

“I mean, I did,” Orion said. “And. . . other people do. All the time. But--”

Sonia had put her head in her hands again.

“Sonia--”

“I need you to help me find out if I’m pregnant,” Sonia said, muffled, into the heels of her hands.

“But I-- when did you--” Orion paused, reevaluating. “Was that when--”

_ “Yes,”  _ Sonia snapped.

“But--” Orion thought for a moment. “But you looked  _ sad!” _

_ “Yes,”  _ Sonia repeated, nearly growling.

Orion’s panic sensors went off. “Did something happen to you? Was it a-- a-- a consensual thing?”

_ “Yes!”  _ Sonia shouted, slamming her hands down on her lap. “Just stop worrying about it! Okay? Go get me a goddamn pregnancy tester!”

“Pregnancy test,” Orion said, shocked into stupidity.

“GO!” Sonia yelled.

The elderly cashier at the beaten-down Dollar Tree down the road smiled with what seemed like wistful fondness when she gave Orion the test.

Orion grinned nervously back at her and ran into the doorpost on her way out.

“Just catch your pee in the paper cup,” Orion shouted through the door, wrapping her arms around herself. “And remember, stick the absorbent end in it!” 

Silence through the door.

“And put it on the counter when you’re done!” Orion added. “Like, flat and face up!” She turned away from the bathroom, paced around on the rug, and returned.

“It takes like a minute or two for it to get the results,” she called, and leaned against the door with her shoulder. Fuck, she was  _ nervous.  _ Why was she nervous? This wasn’t her pregnancy. Or-- potential pregnancy. 

The door opened from underneath her, and she stumbled.

“Please come in and tell me what it says,” Sonia said stiffly.

“Sure, yeah,” Orion said, glancing at her as she stepped into the little bathroom. “You didn’t look at it?”

“No, I didn’t fucking  _ look  _ at it.”

“Right. I mean, I get it.” Orion sighed, shaking her shoulders out. “That makes sense.” She approached the tiny white object on the counter with as much caution as if it were a bomb. “Total sense.”

She picked it up and held it for a moment, not looking.

“What are you gonna do?” she asked. “You know, if it’s a real one.”

Sonia glared at her with all the virulence of someone who had just spent four mornings retching an offering of her guts into the porcelain god. 

“Fine,” Orion muttered, turning back around. “Not my business, I guess.”

She flipped it around in her fingers, looked at it.

Double lines.

It was a real one.

Orion turned to Sonia, her mouth open. “I. . .” she said.

What did you even say?  _ I’m sorry? Congratulations? Don’t worry, your puking wasn’t all for nothing?  _ She didn’t know if Sonia was the abortion kind of girl. Hell, she didn’t know if Sonia could even  _ go  _ to an abortion clinic. 

Sonia stared at her. “What is it?”

“It’s. . . positive,” Orion said. Neutral voice, compassionate eyes. She knew Sonia needed the last one, at least, even if she didn’t show it.

Sonia reached out and took it from her. Not roughly. Not angrily. Just reached out and took it with trembling fingers, brushed Orion’s hand on her way back.

“Positive,” she agreed, her voice wavering just the smallest bit.

“Sonia. . .” Orion hesitated. “I need to ask. If you’re staying here, you’re. . . you’re with me. And I take care of you. So I. . . what are you going to do?”

Sonia sat down on the ground.

“Sonia?”

“Can I have a minute?” Sonia asked quietly.

“Yes. Absolutely.” Orion hurried out of the bathroom. “I’ll be out here. You know. On the couch or whatever. If you need to talk.”

“Go out.”

“Okay.”

Orion shut the door gently. 

_ God,  _ she wasn’t qualified for this.

“So you can’t go to a clinic because of your background check thing,” Orion said.

“No.”

“And you don’t want to put it up for adoption when you have it?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Can. . . I ask why?” Orion thought about the possibility of having a baby in the apartment. Her life choices started to look a little worse.

“I don’t really want to kill it. If I’m going to go through all the trouble of not killing it then I want it.” Sonia shrugged. “I’ll take care of it.” She glanced up at Orion. “I’ll get a better job. You don’t have to take care of it or pay for it. I promise.”

“Hey, no. I said I take care of you, and that means. . . whatever comes out of you.” Orion grimaced. That had definitely sounded wrong. “I mean. You know. If you want to keep it I’ll help you.”

Sonia stared at her.

“What?” Orion grinned nervously. “I know it sounds--”

“Why are you doing this?” Sonia demanded.

Orion blinked.

_ “All  _ of this. Why did you quit being a cop?” Sonia narrowed her eyes. “Why are you putting up with me? Why are you being  _ nice  _ to me?”

“I. . .” Orion rubbed the back of her neck. “Why am I being nice to you?”

“You don’t  _ have  _ to be,” Sonia accused. “You’re not  _ getting  _ anything from it.”

“No,” Orion admitted. “I’m really not.”

“You should  _ hate  _ me. I hate you.”

“Oh, I know you do.” 

“You put Meg in prison.”

There it was again, the end of all their discussions. It was like  _ The Princess Bride.  _ “Good night, sleep well, and don’t forget that you put my older sister figure into prison and I’ll hate your guts until the end of time.”

But this time, Sonia didn’t end the conversation there.

“Why are you helping me?” she asked. “After all that, why are you helping me?”

“I. . .” Orion hesitated, her hand dragging along the back of her neck, frozen in the self-soothing position. 

Sonia raised her eyebrows, a demand.

“I made you this,” Orion said helplessly. “I put Meg in prison. I want to help you. I want to show you that you deserve to be--”

“What?”

_ Loved?  _ Orion’s mind suggested. She put it aside gently.

“You deserve-- good things,”she said instead, gruffly. “I want to give them to you. Okay? I’m going to help you.” She rested her hands on her thighs. “It’s the right thing to do.”

Sonia stared at her for a long moment, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Her face was a steadily cracking mask, her eyes bewildered and wide.

For a moment, the space between them didn’t feel so angry, the air so hostile. For a moment, it felt like they were just sitting on a couch, some unremarkable couch, in some unremarkable apartment, no ill will between them.

Then, Sonia said harshly, “And you know  _ all _ about the  _ right thing to do.  _ I’m going to lie down.”

And, taking the bowl, she went to the bedroom and shut the door.

Orion sighed loudly, stretching her arms out above her and resting her fists on her eyes. No surprise there.

Except, perhaps, for the fact that Sonia hadn’t slammed the door.

It was a start, she decided, and got up to make some soup.

**Author's Note:**

> Orion is going to have so much fun when she figures out the baby is actually frenzy and rumble


End file.
